Levedy

Lileks did it again

For those of you not cool enough to know of James Lileks - where have you been?

Lilieks is a columnist for the Star-Tribune and hosts his own website/weblog that I read daily. Yes, he's very conservative, but he's smart as a whip and hilarious to boot.

One feature of his website that amuses me is his gallery of regrettable food. You're really missing out if you've never experienced this. He's updated the gallery with a copy of an old Knudsen's cookbook. Make sure you're wearing a belt, folks, because you might just laugh your pants off otherwise. Experience the guffawing here

How do you remember numbers?

Yesterday I was in the drive-through at McDonald’s trying to pay for my food with my debit card. The manager had to take my card to the other side of the store (the drive through machine wasn’t working) and needed to know my PIN number to complete the transaction. I told him “I don’t know what the number is, but it spells out ****,” and told him the four-letter word that I chose when I created my PIN.

The manager looked at me like I had four heads. How could someone possibly not know the digits to a PIN number? His face seemed to ask. When he came back, he handed me my card and receipt, and said “just so you know, your PIN number is ****,” and gave me the four numbers of my PIN code.

Odd. He must know only the numbers of his PIN, and not spell a word like I do. That got me thinking. How do people remember strings of numbers?

I put a lot of thought into it (admittedly, mostly in the shower and the toilet. I do my best thinking in those two places) and I realize that I remember numbers in three ways. Tell me if you do the same (please!?!) or if I’m the odd one in the group.

1.Acronyms – I spell my PIN number. I know what Dimitri’s cell phone number spells, I don’t know the numbers (CYNIC-17). When I was a kid, I only knew what my parent’s work numbers spelled, which made it incredibly embarrassing when I needed to have the school nurse call my parents to come pick me up from school. “What’s your dad’s number” (me) RYE WAVE “Not the name honey, the number.” (me) RYE WAVE “Poor dear, someone ought to recommend her for special ed.”

2.Spatial Relationships – When I dial my home number, I don’t think about the numbers I am pushing. Rather, I know the shape they make on the keypad, and I enter the shape of the number sequence rather than consciously pressing individual numbers. Similarly, when I check the voicemail on my cell phone, my pass code is a shape, rather than the numbers themselves.

3.As a unit– I’m sure there’s a better term for this. What I mean is: I see the numbers as a unit rather than as a series of digits. I don’t know what the term is for numbers, but when one is talking about words, we use the term sight reading. The vast majority of adults sees the word “scooter” and sees the word as a whole, and does not need to sound each individual letter out to figure out what the word is. With my Social Security number, I see them as a unit. When people ask me for the last four digits of my SSN, I have to repeat the whole number to myself before I can respond. Similarly, if you asked me how many 6’s I have in my Social Security number, I couldn’t tell you without repeating the sequence to myself first and counting them as I go.

Think about it: how do you use the numbers in your life?

It's done, what's next?

The guest bedroom is done, and man, is it cool. Non-Las Vegans, here is the gallery. Las Vegans, I expect you to drop by. Kat, the next margarita night is at my house!

Happy Painting Day!

So far, so good. Lindsey came over this morning and helped me paint the room. So far, only one mini-disaster: ran out of paint.

Kat's coming over tonight to help me trim the edges and (hopefully) install some shelves and move in the knick-knack stuff that only females understand.

Wahoo! I'm so excited! (Of course, that could be the paint fumes talking) The colors look great together! I'll post before and after pictures when I get the camera developed.

Ahh, sweet productivity

Where have you been all my life?

Move over, Hamburglar

Here's the new public enemy number 1:

You can help in his capture here.

Not much to blog about today

So I'll facilitate your learning about nature. Complaints can be directed here

What was I thinking?

Last night's dream sequence included:
1) A tranvestite vampire
2) My long lost twin
3) Spike from Buffy
4) Lava lamps
5) Ice-T
6) Running around an empty schoolhouse looking for a third-grade classroom

Okay, dream interpreters - tell me what it all means!

Blue men and red hot martinis

Went to see Blue Man Group at the Luxor in Friday. I hadn't been to the show for three years. I was kinda disappointed to see that the show was the exact same as it was three years ago, but it was still entertaining.

I got to take my picture with a Blue Man. Hee hee.

Saturday was reserved for teaching and babysitting baby Andrew. He was really fussy, but it turns out he was really gassy. (luckily Dimitri was holding him when we discovered that one) We tried to rock him to sleep, but he's used to his mom singing him to sleep. My singing would require me to pay for massive amounts of therapy for the boy down the road, so Dimitri searched for an online lullaby radio station. No luck. We did find a smooth jazz station. That knocked Andrew out like a light.

We taught him to play soccer. (Well, as much soccer as a 9 month old could play.) We held him up and he kicked a paper ball around the room. He shrieked with laughter the whole time.

Oh man. I want one. I want one bad.

Dimitri does not understand how my ovaries have taken over my cognitive thinking process. You now the joke that men's brains are actually a bit south of their waistlines? I have learned that, for women, when the biological clock starts ticking, we're the same way.

Tick, tick, tick, tick....

must change subject. must change subject.

I didn't get a chance to paint the room like I have wanted, but I'm planning on Friday being the day. I have everything purchased. I bought three prints from art.com to go on ehte walls. One of them is already my favorite. It's a picture of a martini glass with a hot devil-woman-pinup-gal sitting on the rim. It says Red Hot Martini on it. Hee hee. I like it. I hope that it gets here by Friday!

So far, I'm under budget $41 after buying everything. I don't want to run out and buy $41 worth of stuff in case something goes haywire on Friday and I need to...well, I don't want to think of that. Everything will go perfectly.

To my fellow nerds

You will appreciate how cool this is.

The good thing about the server heist

Background: Dimitri has FINALLY agreed to allow me to paint a room in our house something other than the standard Las Vegas white. I'm so excited! I have the plans, paint chips, and everything all drawn up.

Lindsey has offered to come to the house (since there's only so much you can do in the office with no server) and help me paint earlier than I expected. I may even be able to have the room finished by this weekend (we're expecting houseguests.) Yipee!

Everything sucks about Easter

This Easter sucked for three reasons 1) Church 2) Burglary 3) Howard Stern.

Well, I need to qualify. Easter was 1) Exhausting and awkward 2) Angering and Disappointing and 3) Insulting to the constitution.

1) Church
The church service was really nice. For the first two hours. The remaining 2 hours, I wanted to leap from the choir loft and end my misery.

The service started at 11:30 at night. I didn't get home until 3:45 am. Yowza! The worst part is - the church doesn’t have pews. The priest though that pews were for lazy people, and had them all removed. People were expected to stand the whole time. Yipes.

2) Burglary - Lindsey call me this morning and asks me "You didn't happen to take the server home this weekend, did you?" Um, no. "Oh, crap. Then we were robbed."

Yup - someone kicked down the door to the office and made off with our server. Our entire student files, all of our class schedules - gone. The worst part is, the cops didn't take any prints or do anything other than fill out a report - the burglar is going to get off scot-free on this one. Grrrr!

We reported the server stolen to Dell, so if anyone calls Dell looking for help setting the thing up, Dell will call the cops. Other than that, there's nothing to do but sit on our thumbs and wait for a new server.

Here's the good side:
1) the burglary happened when there were no teachers or students in the building, so no one got hurt. The other office hat was robbed is leased by a woman who always brings her baby to work with her. They weren't in the building either, thank goodness.
2) Insurance will cover the server. We should get a new one within a week, if all goes well.
3) We have time to vacuum the office.

Here's the poopy side:
1) We are so dependent on our server that there's not much we can get done without it.
2) The burglar totally obliterated the door. I'll be picking wood shards out of the carpet for a while.
3) Someone's going to get away with stealing a $5000 server.

3) Howard Stern Howard has been dropped by Clear Channel permanently after receiving nearly 500K in fines from the FCC. The charges stem from his usual perverted radio show which (I admit) is not everyone's cup of tea. However, I think that his firs amendment rights have been violated. Because the FCC does not like what Stern has to say (he is no more graphic than cable tv or the evening news, in my opinion) they have forced him off the air. Even if I find Stern's material objectionable, I don't think he should be pulled from the air simply because I don't like what he has to say. Sounds like fascist censorship to me.

What do you think? At what point does the FCC move from radio watchdog to legislator of morality? And is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Friday Five

1. What do you do for a living?

Until recently, I was the director of the Las Vegas office of The Princeton Review. Now, I teach for them and assist the new director. Both are part-time positions which (still) add up to full time work.

2. What do you like most about your job?

Helping students who want to be helped.

3. What do you like least about your job?

I have some students that treat me like a commodity. I hate that. I also once had a 16 year-old student that I was tutoring in her home who instructed me to enter through the servant's entrance.

4. When you have a bad day at work it's usually because _____...

I have a mean irrational mom yelling at me because their kid is dumb (like it's my fault)

5. What other career(s) are you interested in?

Lion taming. After working with teenagers, it would be easier.

Yet Another Productivity Enhancer

You should all be pretty productive by now.

Creepy old man

Yesterday, I stopped at a 7-11 to get a few sodas to take into work. While I was getting back into my car to head into the office, an old man stood in front of his open car door and whispered "psst. Miss, miss, over here" I look over to the man, and he's motioning me over to his car and waving money at me!

Let me just pause for a moment to voice what all 2 of my female readers should be thinking right now - eeeeew!

I got in my car as fast as I could and drove away. I felt guilty for about 30 seconds. What if he was an invalid and just wanted me to get change for him? After 30 seconds I thought, no. 1) He whispered to me, so as not to draw the attention of an able bodied man in the car next to me 2) Even old men must be aware of how sketchy it looks to try to draw a woman to your car while wafting money at her 3) Eeeeew! Pervert!

Here's your paint, what's your hurry

The latest bee in my bonnet is to paint and finish the downstairs guest bedroom. Dimitri says nothing other than "You'd better finish it." I have lots of ideas for it, but no friends to be manpower *hint*.

Diabetes, weddings, and babies

My weekend was busier than normal - but I didn't teach at all,

Saturday Dim and I went to an American Diabetes Association benefit dinner. A client of Dimitri had purchased two tables, and was two people short. We took him up on his invitation to join us.

People dressed fancy, ate fancy (and ironically, sugary) foods, auctioned off some expensive gold and booze and such, and danced to the music of a Vegas lounge band. In all, I was entertained, but not enthralled.

Sunday we went to a fellow teacher Bonnie's wedding. She was married up in the mountains. She looked beautiful. I cried through the ceremony. Their officiant was a good friend of theirs from their church, so his schpiel was personal and touching.

We spent Sunday afternoon/evening with our friends Luisa and Craig and their 9 month old son, Andrew. I want to kidnap Andrew and make him my own. He's so handsome. He's scared of Dim, though. Any time Dim would come up to him, Andrew would get this Edvard Munchian look about him and start crying. It was funny.

Dimitri had a day full of weddings and babies. I wonder if it moved him...probably not.

Another Productivity Enhancer

For my state employee friends.

Murrrrrphyyyy.....you suck!

Went to a Las Vegas Wranglers hockey game last night with Kat and Lisa. It was so fun! Our team lost 3-2. The best part was when the crowd would poke fun at the opponent's goalie, Murphy. It was hilarious, which almost made up for the lack of bloodshed on the ice.

Sniffers and Starers

I came back yesterday from a flight to Orlando that took me through both Nashville and Kansas City. Southwest is a cool airline, and, even though the non-reserved seating can be a little bit of a pain at times, you can't beat the price and the friendliness of the attendants.

On the first leg of the trip, from Vegas to Kansas City, there was hardly anyone on the plane. Since I had to get up at 4 am to catch the flight, I was more than happy to stretch out across the row and snooze a bit. I didn't want to get my sandal dirt on the seats, so I took my sandals off and stretched out barefoot. (This will become relevant in a moment)

I couldn't get to sleep. The man in the seat behind me was sniffing. Now, normally, I don't make such an issue of breathing...most people need to do it from time to time, but this man had taken oxygen inhalation to the ridiculous extreme. He was sniffing, not breathing. He sniffed like he had a runny nose, and, rather than blow his nose, would prefer to drive others crazy with his constant sniffing. I calculated an average sniff rate of 40 times per minute. 40 times a minute, folks! I debated the etiquette of leaning over the seat and asking him if he'd like me to go get him some Kleenex, but I think that Miss Manners would have disapproved.

So I sit up. No use in trying to sleep counting sniffs instead of sheep, I guess. To my creeped-out surprise, the man in the seat opposite me could not take his eyes off my bare feet. I got a really bad vibe from him. He apparently was ogling my bare feet the entire time. In fact, I ended up having to tuck my feet under my legs to get him to stop. Eeew.

Does Kansas City house a permanent freak-show> What are they feeding their men over there?