Bean lied to me today.
That's not new in itself - she's been lying for months. Up to now, she's lied for humor's sake - ask her what color a fire engine is, and she'll say "Pink!" and dissolve into giggles. But this morning, she lied to cover her ass. I'm not quite sure how to handle it.
I walked into my bathroom and found a puddle on the rug outside the shower. There were scraps of sopping toilet paper all over it - she obviously peed on the rug and tried to mop it up. I asked her what happened.
"Nothing happened, Mama."
"Did you pee on the rug, sweetie?"
"No, I not pee onna rug, Mama. It's okay."
So she and I mopped it up. I told her that she wasn't in trouble, that accidents happen, but she needs to tell me about it. When she tells me something different, that's a lie, and that's not good.
I think the last part went over her head a bit.
Growing up in my house, there was no worse sin than lying. If your ass got caught in a lie, the punishment was always at least double whatever the original offense deserved. It was always better just to fess up ahead of time and save yourself the hour long lecture about integrity and disappointing your parents, who work so hard just to feed you and clothe you and keep a roof over your head and this, this is how you show your grati-OH MY GOD I'M SO VERY SORRY! I'M DIRT, I'M WORM DUNG, WHATEVER YOU WANT, JUST PLEASE STOP THE LECTURE, MY EARS ARE BLEEDING. I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN, WHATEVER IT WAS. JUST PLEASE LET ME STUFF KLEENEX INTO MY EARS.
Looking back, I wasn't as good a liar as I thought I was. I realize now that my parents let me think I was getting away with things - they pretended to be unaware of some of my more minor transgressions, and saved the big ear-bleeding lectures for the bigger things.
I know that she's too young to really feel remorse over a lie. I don't think she really understands what a lie is. I'm not quite sure how to go forward on this one. I can't exactly lecture a two-year old. I just hope it doesn't become a habit.
Posted by Jen at March 13, 2009 11:32 AMThat's right, dear. Save the ear bleeding lectures for the big things. Try getting her used to the concept of "true" and "false", even in simple terms such as "yes"/"no" or "good"/"not good", using comparisons. Color two fire engines: one pink and one red, and talk about the colors in yes and no terms. She's a smart cookie. It will sink in with her sooner than you think.
Posted by: mom at March 15, 2009 12:39 AMwhen are you going to learn that you now possess the power of guilt? no you don't have to feel guilty you now can bestow it upon YOUR children as it was once Bestowed unto you!!!
Dissappointment is anonther big one in your tools for parenthood.