Dear Arby’s,
I don’t like you anymore.
Sincerely,
Jen Rodis
p.s.- Your Diet Pepsi tastes weird, too.
Arbys: Welcome to me. May I take your order?
Me: (perusing the menu) What happened to your Market Fresh Roast Beef and Swiss sandwich? It was my favorite. I don’t see it on the menu.
Arbys: We don’t got it no more. We got turkey and swiss.
Me: I see that. Same sandwich, but with turkey instead of roast beef?
Arby’s: Yeah.
Me: Is there some way that you could make that sandwich for me, but put roast beef on it instead?
Arby’s: No.
Me: Is it the price? I know the turkey sandwiches are more expensive. I’ll pay the turkey price, just put roast beef on it for me.
Arby’s: I can’t do that.
Me: But the guy with the meat slicer is like seven feet away from you. I’m pretty sure he can hear us right now. Can’t you just tell him “roast beef instead?”
Arby’s: No.
Me: Why not?
Arby’s: There’s no button on the register for it.
Me: ...
Arby's: (blink, blink)
Me: (Heavy sigh.) Thanks anyway, have a nice day.