Today, at the grocery store, I had a new bag boy. He was a little sketchy looking, what with the oddly-placed facial hair (I don't see the use of a soul patch) and holes in his body where there are not normally holes. This boy, however, is my new best friend. He packed my groceries not just well, not just very well, but effing PERFECTLY.
THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.
You see, I have just enough of the Crazy to actively seek out long grocery lines. I like the belt to be full of the person-before-me's groceries so as to give me enough time to de-basket THE RIGHT WAY.
Now, there are several things in my life that I am not particular about. There do exist areas of my life where it doesn't matter how things are folded, where they are put away, or with what frequency they are cleaned. In some ways, I am a regular heathen. Yup. Lots. Of course, listing them all would take so much time that it would interfere with the time I have allotted for alphabetizing my spice rack and rotating the towel and sheet panty to ensure even use.** Let's just say that there must be at least ONE way in which I am not picky or weird.
Grocery de-basketing, though, is not that one way.
I need to unload the grocery basket such that things are neatly arranged by need for refrigeration, eventual location (upstairs or down), and by squareness of packaging such that there is no usable oxygen between products and I use the least amount of belt space. BE QUIET, THIS IS MY FORM OF CRAZY, AND I'LL DO AS I PLEASE.
My excellent little grocery cube is usually foiled by the bagger, who slops everything in plastic bags willy-nilly.
I DO NOT LIKE WILLY-NILLY.
But THIS bagger, this wonderful, tattooed scofflaw, turned out to be of my ilk. When I got down to pay, my groceries were bagged (in paper bags, because paper bags have right angles and RIGHT ANGLES ARE GOOD. Plastic bags invite the willy and the nilly and I can�t handle that.) $160 of groceries in four, tightly packed, neatly arranged bags. It was beautiful. Boxes were packed flush with other boxes and stacked up to the top rim of the bag, toiletries were neatly arranged, the refrigerated stuff was packed with raw meats on the bottom and cooked things on top (because - eww - if it's the other way around). Even the produce was packed nicely and neatly; the bananas lined up parallel to the green onions.
I almost kissed him. However, I probably would have been jabbed by some bit of metal poking from his face, so I refrained and offered a genuine, one-crazy-to-another thank you.
I almost took a picture of them. Because that? That will never happen again. Those perfectly packed grocery bags will have to live on in my memory. Because a thing of beauty is a joy forever.
**I'm sorry to say that I'm not kidding. The spice cabinet is alphabetized and, yes, I do know the last time that I used the sheets with the clouds on them.