First: Brian hit it on the head with this, the thought process of a new dad. Except with Dim, instead of X-Box, it’s World of Warcraft (God help me. He quit for a while, but then it sucked him back in. I’m a WoW widow again.)
My morning starts (depending on your definition of morning, of course) at six am, when I haul the Bean into bed with me because by that time of the morning I cannot stay both upright AND conscious to nurse her. I plop her in the bed between Dim and me and flop out a boobie to feed her.
Note to the male (not including my dad) readers: I realize this is the unsexiest description of my boobage ever written. Watching women nurse is beautiful, but decidedly unsexy. Watching me nurse must be like watching a tipped Holstein feed a chimpanzee.
Note to my dad: Sorry for that mental image.
I leave her with her eyes rolled back in her head in lacto-ecstasy in the bed and go about my morning business. I check my email - No messages again? Damn. - read my daily blogs, Watch Ze’s Show, lament the fact that I haven’t blogged since the Clinton administration, and work the NYT crossword puzzle.*
I try to think of witty things to post about, but they all involve my boobs and/or the Bean. My single, kidless friends’ heads will explode if I discuss either of those any more.
And then I worry: Am I limited in my repertoire of witty banter to that which involves childrearing? What happened to my ability to discuss literature, politics, art, and fine dining? And then I realize: my boobs are leaking again.
BOOBS. BOOBS. BOOBS.
Note to my dad: Sorry again.
I go downstairs to fix myself some food and notice for the thirtieth time that there is dried spit-up crusted in the Graco logo of the Bean’s car seat buckle. *sigh* I really have to chip that out.
I’m two bites into a PB&J sandwich when she starts squawking again, and the process repeats itself. Still no messages. Man, I’m a loser.
So happy 4th all, and remember, above all else: BOOBS.
sorry dad.
BONUS: Here is the sign posted on the door for my July 4th BBQ guests.
*unless it’s Friday or Saturday, when I blink my blank, blank eyes at the sea of white squares in the puzzle and think to myself: what’s a five letter word for a foolish or stupid person?
Jen! Congratrs on the boobie success, you ROCK! I'm so proud of you, SO proud! And I LOVE the front door sign, that's freaking awesome!
I love the way you write, I am laughing so hard I have tears streaming down my face.
Oh, and if you wanna post with some women who will let you talk about your boobs all day, go peek at the message boards at breastfeeding.com. :-)
Posted by: Tami at July 4, 2006 6:23 PMChildrearing takes obsession - especially in those early months. I would be shocked if you were to discuss fine dining on your blog! Let all the baby stuff out!
By the way - sounds like you could use some getting-out-of-the-house. Let's go somewhere this week!
IDIOT! I suck at the crossword, but I got that one!!
My other friend, Jenn, just had a baby in March and she struggles with the same thing of feeling like she has nothing to say that isn't about breastfeeding or childrearing or anything like that. I guess it's a fairly normal thing. And, as a single friend of yours, I do not mind if it's what you want to talk about. Talk away! I'll still listen (although I might not have much to contribute!). :)
Posted by: JennySmith at July 6, 2006 6:04 PMHa, truth be told... between you and me and ANYONE ELSE WHO READS YOUR BLOG... Atsuko is more of an online poker widow, but xbox fit so neatly in the flowchart!
Anyway, (obligatory) more pics more pics more pics!
I posted more pictures, Brian.
Posted by: Jen Rodis at July 6, 2006 11:01 PMWhy yes you did!
Very cute.
Posted by: Brian at July 7, 2006 7:55 AMLove the pics. Good luck with the boobs.
Posted by: susan at July 7, 2006 2:37 PMCan I steal that sign as well? I'm also planning on breastfeeding... and was kind of wondering how to avoid causing offense. I think that sign will do it.
Posted by: Elizabeth at July 11, 2006 3:05 AMKnock yourself out, Elizabeth.
Posted by: Jen Rodis at July 11, 2006 1:48 PM