So I’ve been a parent for two weeks, and I’ve already forgotten how freakishly obsessed I was with my cat. I manage to remember to feed her, and I remember that I loved her enough to make up conversations with her and attempt to dress her in onesies, but she is sooo last year compared to obsessing over The Bean.
I think the PPD stuff was temporary. I still feel like a monumental failure with annoying frequency, but I think that’s par for the course as far as the whole Parent role goes. You want the best for your spawn, and since you yourself are far from perfect, you’re a big flop from the get-go by default.
Hey, at least I haven’t put a diaper on backwards or left her on the roof of the car So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.
This week has been an exercise in never enough. I can pump 2.5 ounces of milk for a baby who wants 3. I sleep for five un-contiguous hours when I need six. I leave the baby at Yiayia’s with four diapers when she shits through five. I think this running on empty feeling is par for the course, too.
But the funny thing is, I’m okay with it. It gives me The Bean. It sucks for her, since she is stuck with me, but I profit from the arrangement in the end, I think.
Posted by Jen at May 8, 2006 9:58 AM