March 29, 2006
Dad, don't read the last paragraph
I’m swell.
Scratch that: I am swelling.
Aside from my ass, my body continues to widen in ways that I find unnerving.
To wit: the nerves in my right hand have decided to go on holiday. I have carpal tunnel that alternately tingles and hurrrrrts. I was trying to button a shirt yesterday and realized that I hadn’t felt this clumsy buttoning since I was three. You take fine motor skills for granted. My right hand would be better used as a doorstop or a paperweight.
My ankles look like they belong to a pink elephant by the end of the day. I find this mildly amusing: my skin is SO white (peanut gallery: “How white is it?”) that the blood that pools in my lower extremities changes my skin to a deep, rosy pink.
My fingers look like ten little sausages. And not the good sausages, either: the weird, pale, British sausages that only a born Briton could stomach.
My nose has gotten wider. Thanks, God. That’s just what I need, an even bigger Irish potato nose.
My tongue is wider, I think. My vowels are all screwed up. (They’re screewed ooop, I guess).
Let’s not even talk about what’s happening to my Girl Twinkies, because my dad reads this, and because I’m a freakin’ lady.
on the bright side, you can keep eating girl scout cookies guilt-free for another month. :)
Posted by: kat at March 29, 2006 9:27 AMToo late I'm a fast reader. Besides I've been through living with a pregnant woman. Things change all over the place
Posted by: Dad at March 29, 2006 1:22 PMAmen to the change thing! It's good to have a patient and understanding hubby who knows the two most important things: 1) Exactly when to stand just out of reach and 2) Exactly when to move in for the hugs and comfort. Now, THAT'S a skilled man! :o)
Posted by: Mom at March 29, 2006 3:32 PMSounds like you're getting to the end of your pregnancy. Hang in there! :-) Just wait until you get within days of your due date (or even a week before) when you get the seemingly inevitable question: "Haven't you had that baby yet?" I can't tell you how many people and how many times I heard that in the final weeks of my pregnancy...mostly from my co-workers. I'd have to restrain myself from retorting "No, I just happen to like waddling around with an extra 40 pounds on me! Here's your sign, stupid!" :-) The only thing I can recommend for the swelling ankles is drinking more water and regular walking. But can't guarantee that will help as everyone is different. Might be worth a try. :-)
Posted by: Lisa at March 30, 2006 9:00 AM