December 9, 2005

*sigh*

I hate progesterone.

It's murder on my contact lenses.

See, I cry at the drop of the hat and, while it seems like a perfectly rational reason to cry at the time, later on I feel like a giant ass (with a giant ass) and have a ruined pair of contacts to go with it.

Last night's tear duct explosion was about Sophie and her insistence on calling my soon-to-be daughter her "child" instead of her "grandchild." Also her habit of opening the door to greet me by telling me I look tired before she tells me hello. If she tells me hello.

Should I do the adult thing and tell her to stop those things because they offend my excessively delicate ego? Should I explain to her that, while she shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around me, common courtesy dictates that telling an almost-5-month-pregnant woman she looks terrible and then minimizing her role in the pregnancy by calling the kid yours instead of hers is bound to end in a) tears or b) a black eye? No, I'll blubber like an idiot in the sushi restaurant...and in my car parked in my garage...and in my bedroom during a recorded Law and Order.

Poor Dim doesn't know what to do. Defending his mother only makes it worse. Reasoning with me gets him nowhere. He's taken to huddling up against me and saying nothing until I quiet down and saying "How about we restart Law and Order?"

I'm going to go change my contacts now.

Posted by Jen at December 9, 2005 9:20 AM
Comments

Jen,
Don't know your MIL and could be off base but my solution is: Next time she says "You look tired" chose between "I am tired, thanks for reminding me" or "Thanks, it's nice to see you too". On the "child" vs "grandchild" - I'd ignore it because it is YOUR child and you know it but my evil side says try responding every time with "MY child, YOUR grandchild" like a mantra. Eventually she'll punch you or stop.

Posted by: susan at December 9, 2005 10:43 AM

Oh! I thought of another response. How about "if it's your child would you mind carrying it around in your body for the next 4 months, I'm tired as you already pointed out."

Posted by: susan at December 9, 2005 10:44 AM

i vote for susan's #2 answer.

Posted by: kat at December 9, 2005 10:52 AM

:)

Posted by: Jen Rodis at December 9, 2005 10:58 AM

if i may step on some toes here: i'd also like to suggest that you sit dimitri down and tell him to grow a pair and start protecting you and his daughter from the ever-present MIL.

he needs to tell his mother to start referring to your daughter as her "granddaughter" - because (and i am hoping dimitri will ensure this as well) she won't be parenting the kid, you will. and if he lets her keep this up, there will be a battle over who parents the kid, and that won't be pretty...for the family or for your marriage... and it will never end, even when the kid is married off with her own kids.

Posted by: kat at December 9, 2005 11:00 AM

boy kat, spoken like a someday mom to be! jen, just tell MIL that you are sure that she remembers what being pregnant and carrying additional weight is like. she will either smile or scream, but either way she may not comment any more.

Posted by: kath's mom at December 9, 2005 11:21 AM

All good points and suggestions so far. Speaking as the other soon to be grandma, first of all...when I saw you yesterday I thought you looked great and even commented your gorgeous hair. Second... remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said... "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission". Third... I was fortunate to have a great mother-in-law but also had a critically psycho mother. Eventually, I was able to just be blunt with her that you were OUR child and we would decide what was best for you (being left handed vs. being right handed, as an example). It wasn't as hard a thing to do as I had thought it would be, and wished that I had been able to muster the strength earlier on to do the same. Had I done so, a lot things would have been easier. Sophie is well intentioned, I'm sure, but not everyone thinks twice before letting words roll off their tongues and if you don't tell her how you feel, that her words or actions hurt you, how will she ever know? What's the worst that can possibly happen? So, remember that you ARE gorgeous and remember to not give anyone permission to make you feel that you are less than gorgeous.

Posted by: jen's mom at December 9, 2005 12:19 PM

Good job jen's mom!

Posted by: susan at December 9, 2005 12:30 PM

awww. as usual, jen's mom rocks.

Posted by: kat at December 9, 2005 2:28 PM