Fear is good. Fear is helpful. Fear is an excellent deterrent.
For example: I fear bears.
When I see a bear at the zoo I do not think of a cuddly little pooh in an undersized red t-shirt. I picture a creature fearsome enough to rip apart a smaller warm-blooded creature with only its claws and jaws. This buddy is evil enough to hibernate for months with no food. That alone warrants my silent trembling in the corner. I can't go for 12 hours these days without chicken nuggets slathered in hot mustard.
Hikers routinely wear bells on their clothes to warn bears of the hikers' presence, ostensibly on the theory that bears will be bashful and will not want to be near clumsy, bloated, bipedal creatures. Bill Bryson, in his book A Walk In The Woods* stated that he, on a hike along the Appalachian trail, swore he encountered bear spoor with little bells in it.
My fear of bears is a helpful one, since I will not hike in bear-infested waters. (or something) Nor will I wear bells, as a matter of principle.
I fear juggling chainsaws.
Not being a remarkably adept person at the whole hand-eye coordination thing, juggling was never a possible contender for Jen’s trick list. Adding quickly rotating blades is right-out.
I can spell backwards (an adverb, not a direct object), I can make people laugh, I can write in a straight line on a whiteboard for my students (not as easy as you think!), and I can raise an eyebrow behind people’s backs LIKE A FUCKING PROFESSIONAL. I cannot, however, manage to get my hands and my eyes and my brain to work as a trifecta. I can do two out of three, but the Nintendo required three out of three, and as such I never saved the princess on Super Mario Brothers.
I fear needles
As previously stated, needles and I don’t exactly mix. I had a traumatizing experience with needles when I was 4 or 5, and since then I get woozy and tunnel vision-y when even so much as a conversation deals with needles.
At this point, the thought of an IV in my hand scares me a hell of a lot more than the thoughts of labor and of raising children and of sending my kids to a public school combined. I need to talk to my doctor about the dire necessity (or lack thereof) of an IV in me.
Can't I just wear a bell around my neck and go walking in the Appalachians?