On my way to babysit Andrew so Luisa could get a manicure and pedicure, I managed to rid the Las Vegas Valley of a bit of sharp construction debris by lodging it in my tire. I had just enough time to change the tire while the car was parked in front of my house. The last time I had the tires looked at they used one of those high-powered Nascar Pit Crew air wrench thingers, so the lug nuts were pretending to be Rocks of Gibraltar. My pansy-ass VW road kit was no match for the five lug nuts.
Two houses down, two Mexican guys were chatting in the driveway. In my broken Spanish, I asked “Are you able to help me?” The conversation went thus:
Part I- What I meant to say:
I’m sorry to bother you. I have a flat tire. I’m in a hurry, but I’m not strong enough to loosen the lug nuts. My friend is waiting for me. I can change the tire myself, I just need help with the lug nuts.
Part II – What (I think) I actually said:
I feel bad about molesting you. I have no hours, and I need help changing my the tire. I do not have the strong enough to unmake the little metal things. My friend is hoping for me. I can change the tire with no the assistance, I just need the help with the little car things.
Part III – What this guy (probably) thought I meant:
I’m a molester on the run and pressed for time. I killed the strong guy, and I need to take him to my friend, who is hoping that I will wait for her. If you value your life, get away from me as soon as you loosen the engine mounts.
The tire got changed, and Luisa was only a little bit late for her appointment. Andrew and I had a blast. He’s a fun kid. Especially when he gets water ALL over the bathroom, but makes sure that his socks are put away in the hamper properly.
Yesterday we had Easter brunch with my family. Tonight we have a family BBQ at my dad’s for my sister’s birthday. She’s 20. Ha! She’s old. (Which makes me older, but I’ll ignore that little fact right now.)
Posted by Jen at March 28, 2005 10:34 AM