Levedy

I still don't get it

I've been mulling over my Amish sighting from the weekend, and I still can't figure it out: what the devil were they doing in Las Vegas?

Kat suggested that it was their right-of-passage-freak-out, but I don't think so. They were dressed with their bonnets and aprons and eyebrows-occurring-only-in-odd-numbers. If they were sowing thine wild oates they would be dressed like us normies.

Best theory: they got traded to a polygamist family that lives out in the desert. Even fundamentalist Mormons needs goods at low, low prices.

Problem with theory: Mormon fundamentalists don't seem to have a problem churning out new wives for themselves - why send away for what you've got - ahem - in your own backyard?

Next Best Theory: They weren't Amish but Mormon fundamentalists. I think that they can dress like something out of Little House on the Prairie if they feel like it.

Support for theory: The group was comprised of three young women and a female toddler. Could be a group of sister-wives and their newest addition to the cult - er - family.

Problem With Theory: These gals were clearly NOT speaking English. And I've been to Temple Square in Salt Lake City. Even the most devout Mormons still speak a variant of English (known as the June and Ward Dialect, but English nonetheless.)

Least Likely theory: It was performance art.

Problem with theory: It takes time and effort to develop the sour I-haven't-washed-in-a-week-but-still-manage-to-work-up-a-sweat-daily odor. And unibrows like that don't show up overnight, you know.

Any other theories?

Posted by Jen at January 19, 2005 9:49 AM