Do you prefer (pick the least annoying)...
1. Low carb/No carb or Low-fat foods?
I definitely prefer Low Carb stuff to Low Fat stuff. Fat allows our taste buds to connect with flavor. The less fat, the less flavor. Low-Carb stuff is usually pretty fatty, so it tastes pretty good. Mmmm, fat...
I can't, however, tolerate Malitol. Malitol is the stuff put in Low-Carb foods when they need to taste chocolatey. Malitol tastes wonderful, but comes with a warning: excessive consumption may have a laxative effect. Liars. Replace "excessive" with "any" and "may" with "you bet your sweet bippy will have an earth-shatteringly, socially unacceptable, and embarassingly unpredictable" and you'll be nearer to the truth. I mean, that's what I heard from a friend.
2. Reality TV or Crime-solving Spin-offs (CSI:Miami, CSI: New York, L&O:SVU, L&O:Criminal Intent)?
Law and Order all the way. I find that I get embarassed while watching reality television. I'm embarassed for the contestants, knowing that their 15 minutes of fame came from eating the anal glands of scorpions or vapidly competing for the affections of some yahoo they've never met before. I'm embarassed that I am providing the show the ratings that get shows re-signed for additional seasons or make TV producers think that similar shows should be added to the lineups.
No, give me murder and rape on Law and Order, please. At least those are a little more realistic.
3. Knee-high socks with tennis shoes or socks with sandals?
Socks and Sneakers. So long as they're the 70's sweatsocks with the two broad color bands at the top.
4. Spam Emails or SPAM the "meat" product?
SPAMmeat isn't actually all that bad. So long as you don't think about what it is you're eating, it tastes pretty good, and fries up better than bacon. Mmmmmm, bacon...
5. Long lines to a drive-thru or long lines to a public restroom?
Long lines in a restroom don't bother me (a) because I'm female and it happens all the time and (b) because I can avoid using public restrooms for hours. My bladder is the size of a curant but it's made of titanium.
I tend to get irritated while in line at the drive-through. I don't have any right to be irritated, but I have fallen for the marketing ploy in commercials that subliminally promises that I will only be in the drive-thru for 30 seconds tops, and any break in that pattern is the fault of the yutz in front of me who holds up the parade for four (four!) minutes for the nine dozen hamburgers he's ordered. (Except, of course, when I'm the yutz waiting four minutes at the window with three cars stuck behind me, when it is clearly the fault of the incompetent boob on the other side of the window.
How 'bout y'all?
Posted by Jen at August 10, 2004 5:25 PM